The Answer is to Respond

Can I be vulnerable?

Today I had to sit in a revelation I had never said out loud.

I never set out to write eBooks, let alone three.

This wasn’t strategy.

It was surrender.

Lips That Prophesy felt doable for me because I could still teach beauty. I could talk makeup and still hide behind my brushes a little.

But Replace and I Declare required more of me.

They pulled from my secret place, the place where I thought I could stay hidden.

They carry pages I never planned to share. But God said, “Release it.”

So I obeyed.

There were days I cried without knowing why.

I sat in silent surrender when God told me not to speak to anyone about what I was feeling—just to confide in Him.

There were days that felt like complete silence.

I didn’t hear from God.

I didn’t hear from people.

I didn’t hear anything.

But it wasn’t silence.

It was Him, gently showing me what I had spoken over myself.

I would have visions and dreams, and I would see what I said—and how it was showing up in my life. How the words I planted were shaping my reality.

And how God wouldn’t let me walk past what I had built or what I had torn down with my own words.

He let me soak in it.

I had to grieve, repent, and come out of agreement with every lie I had spoken.

I had to tell God I surrendered my language to Him and gather the tools He was giving me to walk it out with.

Prior to this,I had taught. Poured. Obeyed. But still felt stuck.

For months I discipled women in all walks of life from around the country. Traveling to meet their need all of 2024. I moved from place to place, gave up my home, gave up everything I loved—even moved back in with my parents—just to understand what this unraveling really meant.

What it would look like to truly lean on God for interpretation.

Because I couldn’t figure out why I kept hitting a brick wall.

Until I surrendered.

Even after the conference, the mentorship, the books, the seven-day prayer watches, all of it—I still couldn’t move forward. I didn’t know why, until God revealed it: “Your mouth has been building what I already tore down. You keep rebuilding these fortresses around My plan.”

He showed me I was using my free will to build prisons He never called me to live in. I had to desire more than just release. I had to desire restoration. I had to want more outside of the prison I made with my own mouth.

It was easy for me to pour into everybody else. But it was hard for me to stop speaking lies over myself.

It was easy to prophesy, because the gifts come without repentance. Once God chooses you, He doesn’t un-choose you. He builds you up in the choosing. He shows you your scar, just like Simon. He told Simon, “You’re going to deny Me three times,” and still said, “I’ll build My church on you.” He was still the rock. Even then.

Jesus made Simon change His language and say “I love You” three times after the resurrection in John 21:15-17. That’s the kind of God we serve. Not one who waits for perfection, but One who walks us through our becoming.

I was being perfected, and I didn’t understand that my language had to be submitted too.

Fast Forward, as recent as yesterday, Even after the breakthrough, I was still telling the story from the middle.

Still explaining the pain.

Still reliving it.

And I didn’t realize that by retelling it over and over again, I was retriggering it.

I was trying to make people understand the rhythm of the uncertainty I had once felt, instead of resting in the clarity I now walk in.

Yesterday, I broke.

I felt the heaviness.

I cried.

I felt the depression.

I felt the weight of carrying all of this again.

And I knew God had already freed me.

So I didn’t understand what I was feeling.

I just felt empty.

I looked in the mirror and prayed. And God answered me with one simple word: Sow.

I pivoted.

I gave the bundles away. I gave three away—one on each platform.

Not from overflow.

From obedience.

It was my answer to what He had been saying.

My reply to His invitation.

As I opened my Bible to Isaiah 61:1, I found the principle in the Word. “He has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.” Not just the financially poor. The poor in spirit.

Because when I was poor in spirit, I didn’t need money. I needed a redeeming through the word.

When I was poor in spirit, I didn’t need another voice barking at me.

I needed love and compassion from God.

I needed a revival plan and practical Holy Spirit led strategy.

So that’s what I gave.

I gave what God gave me.

I wrote it out.

I made it plain.

I shared the vision.

I let them run with it.

And then God highlighted the numbers that comprise Isaiah 6:11 and I was reminded of what the number 611 meant biblically.

In Greek according to Strong’s Concordance, 611 means “to answer.”

That’s when I realized—sowing was my response to God.

My obedience was my reply.

And He met it with revelation which was my answer.

It wasn’t the size of my seed that moved His hand.

It was the heart behind it.

It was my yes.

He showed me that I didn’t need to relive every part of the pain to release what He gave me.

That I could build from a place of peace.

That I didn’t have to explain my way into obedience.

That the fruit would speak.

Today, I am seeing Isaiah 61:7: “For your shame, you shall have double.”

I am seeing the joy, the clarity, the restoration.

And not through performance.

Through peace.

The Repair and Rebuild Bundle didn’t need me to prove it. It needed me to rest. It needed my release.

Not my striving.

Not my protection.

Not my edits.

Just my yes.

This wasn’t strategy.

It was surrender.

And now I bless it to do what it was created to do.

To reach the women it’s meant to reach.

To speak life where silence used to live.

And I pray that this testimony speaks to you.

I pray it helps you pursue the thing God put in you; not from brokenness, but from peace.

Don’t feel guilty for being whole now.

Don’t feel guilty for finally breathing.

You don’t need guilt.

You need revelation.

Because the same way I got free—

I want you to be free too.

And I bless every woman who received it.

Because I know He’ll meet you too.

Because the answer is to respond.

Not by my strength.

Not by my power.

But by His Spirit.

In purpose.

In truth.

In Jesus’ name.